Greetings,
Flashback: Graduate school. My first one to one session with a 2nd grade girl named Jennifer. As part of my practicum, each of six sessions were to be audio taped for the professor and I was very nervous. My first task was to establish rapport and get to know her. As I began to chat with her she was somewhat shy but responded to my questions. She gave me eye contact and I carefully paraphrased and reflected her feelings. Somewhere in the middle of the session I called her Jacquelyn. Heartbroken, she stopped, lowered her eyes and said, "My name is Jennifer." In one split second I lost her.
Flashback: Graduate school. My first one to one session with a 2nd grade girl named Jennifer. As part of my practicum, each of six sessions were to be audio taped for the professor and I was very nervous. My first task was to establish rapport and get to know her. As I began to chat with her she was somewhat shy but responded to my questions. She gave me eye contact and I carefully paraphrased and reflected her feelings. Somewhere in the middle of the session I called her Jacquelyn. Heartbroken, she stopped, lowered her eyes and said, "My name is Jennifer." In one split second I lost her.
Twenty eight years later I still feel the sense of rejection she felt in that moment. Through that innocent mistake on my part I learned how powerful getting to know a student is in our role as a counselor, beginning with his/her name. Below are some of the ways I set out to get to know my yearly caseload of 550 students.
Using the Yearbook
A few weeks before the new school year I would pull out my yearbooks. I would begin with my rising 6th graders and look at each year from kindergarten through to Fifth grade. I would cover the names and strive to name each student as well as making a list for those students that may need extra attention for the upcoming school year. I did this for each grade level.
Review list of new families
At my school we have about 4 new kindergarten classes and in third grade about 100 new students entered into our Gifted Advanced Academic program. From the new students list I would look for new families (what grades the siblings are in) as well as make note of the kindergartner's siblings already at our school. By doing this prep work I was able to put a name to a face as I met the students at open house.
The first Guidance Lesson
The first week of school I scheduled a 20 minute lesson in each class. During the lesson I review my role as a counselor, go over referrals, and usually read about a book about the beginning of the school year. I have each students fill out an index card with their name, grade and one thing they want me to know about them. (in the upper grades I may add some other comments such as goal for the year). Lastly, I tell the students that one of my goals is to know the name of every student in the school at which point I began to name each students in that class. If I miss a name I apologize and say that I have to work harder. I do this exercise in a lighthearted way and most of the time the students help me out if I get stumped.
Meeting new students in small groups
Right after the first guidance lesson I invite new students to come to my office so we can have a small group session. I give them a chance to look around, see my sand tray, puppets, etc. Then we sit and talk a bit. I share that my husband was in the military and moved a lot and how it was for me starting as a new teacher at a new school. I describe some of the feelings I had. In the small group sharing I ask them to share where they lived before, something they really miss from their old school, something they are happy to leave behind and one thing they are looking forward to at the new school. I also give them a chance to ask questions that they have been wondering about since school started. Lastly, we do a name game of some type to help everyone learn each others name.
Greetings and Farewells
Every day I stand in the hallway outside my office and greet students by name. Many counselors greet students with endearments, such as "Hello my friend" or "Good morning Honey". Although friendly and welcoming, it is my personal preference to call them by their name. It sends a message that I view them as important enough to know who they are. Likewise, it means a lot to me when a student greets me by my name as well.
Lunch Bunch
Although not one of my practices, many counselors set up daily lunches with small groups of students to meet and greet.
Student File
Using index cards that the students fill out on the first lesson, I jot down bits of information that will be helpful for me when working with this student over the year. If I work with the student I also create a file for the student. In this file I keep a record of the visits, strategies, goals etc. This file stays with the student throughout the years at my school. In the beginning of the school year I review the files of the names of the students I earmarked as needing extra attention.
Small Groups
Throughout the year I run a variety of Groups starting with kindergarten's I Can Group and First grade All About Me Group. For the large number of new students in 3rd grade I run many Friendship Groups to help me get to know the students.
Conferences with Teachers and Parents
One of the best ways I get to know the students is setting up conferences with teachers and parents. In these sessions (some are very brief) I have an opportunity to ask questions, gain insights into the student and learn more about them. I jot down notes on the index cards the students have already filled out or student files for later review. In addition I attend Parent/Teacher conferences when necessary.
Individual Session
Lastly, and most importantly I get to know the students from the time we spend together in our individual sessions.
You may ask how a counselor can get to know 550 students every year. As counselors, each of us must make choices as to how to best spend our time. You may think that these are unrealistic suggestions. If you agree that our top priority is truly knowing students then following these guidelines will give you the most bang for the buck. We must exercise control over our time, the essence of which is getting to know each student in a personal way.
Affectionately,
Jeanette