Greetings,
Now that I am retired I find myself reflecting on my years as an elementary school counselor. You know those "I wish I knew then what I know now" conversations with myself. So, I decided to start a new series of posts to share some of the things I learned over the years.
Now that I am retired I find myself reflecting on my years as an elementary school counselor. You know those "I wish I knew then what I know now" conversations with myself. So, I decided to start a new series of posts to share some of the things I learned over the years.
Prior to becoming a school counselor I was a teacher. I was 23 years old, newly married and not yet a parent. I remember one of my earliest parent-teacher conference. We discussed Joey's homework habits (or shall I say lack of homework habits). My advice was to just BE CONSISTENT. First, set up a homework station where each night at the same time he does his homework. Then sit down with Joey to review what he had done. Help him organize his backpack and set it by the front door each night ready for the morning. I repeated the importance of consistency in child rearing, several times if I remember correctly. Joey's father was a high ranking officer and his mother was busy raising four children as well as completing many task related to her husband's career. The mother tried to explain to her husband and me how difficult the evening routine was. I was confident that my advice was sound and that Joey would soon develop those great homework habits.
Years later as I was frustrated with my son's lack of homework habits and our wacky after school schedule I suddenly saw myself at that conference touting the importance of consistency. From this I learned several valuable lessons regarding giving advice that I would like to share with you now.
1. Students, parents and teachers look to counselors for answers as if we are the experts. Our experience and knowledge is extremely valuable. Yet, it is equally important to keep a humble and empathetic spirit.
2. Take time to get the bigger picture. There are many great words of wisdom that we can impart but first have a deeper understanding of the situation. My heart now goes out to Joey's mother who was put on the spot to defend herself to the teacher as well as her husband. She was doing the best she could for that time in her life.
When offering a suggestion I learned to introduce it by saying, "One thing you may want to try" or "Something that has worked for others is ...." Click here for other Parent-Teacher conferences tips.
3. Changing a behavior is a process that may take time, support and encouragement. Rather than just giving advice it is helpful to explain the why's and what if's. We've all heard the saying of "Give a man a fish ..... teach a man to fish." The same hold true for advice giving. Once the person in need understands the reasoning behind the advice it is much easier to implement.
Do you have any "Wish I Knew" requests? Any stories you would like to share? Feel free to share in the comment section. Meanwhile, explore the website for ideas, strategies and free advice. (lol)
Affectionately,
Jeanette
For those times when helpful suggestions are needed please check out Teacher Support pages for great tips and strategies to share for students struggling with organizational skills.