'Greetings,
I began my counseling career as a Substance Abuse Counselor for the Army. I worked with soldiers who were referred to our office if alcohol use was interfering with their duties. I ran groups as well as weekly individual sessions. I also ran groups for teenagers who were caught on base drinking/drugging. It is here that I learned my first and most important lesson about confidentiality.
I began my counseling career as a Substance Abuse Counselor for the Army. I worked with soldiers who were referred to our office if alcohol use was interfering with their duties. I ran groups as well as weekly individual sessions. I also ran groups for teenagers who were caught on base drinking/drugging. It is here that I learned my first and most important lesson about confidentiality.
Two of the teens' parents were best friends. The moms often came together to talk with me about their worries and frustrations. One day one of the moms dropped by the office to pick up her son's backpack that he left the night before. Casually, she asked how the kids were doing. I gave a brief summary but included something about her best friend's daughter as well. Several hours later I was called into the director's office with the girl's parents. They were furious at me for sharing private information about their daughter without their consent.
I believe our best lessons are learned from our worst mistakes.
As counselors we are constantly put in challenging confidentiality situations. How many times are we stopped in the hallway by teachers who want to talk about a student? What about the teacher's lounge at lunch? Teachers have very little time to process their frustrations with students and parents and for them the best place and time is at lunch. Yet, during that time they maybe be venting private information with teachers who do not have a need to know. Not to mention planting the seeds of a negative reputation for the students or parents involved.
It is very awkward when counselors are pulled into these conversations. It even may be our intention to share about the students and explain background circumstances to help the teacher meet the students needs..... however this should not be done in front of a group! One of our responsibilities as a counselor is to help inform the staff about how confidentiality works.
Here is an example.
A fourth grade girl told her teacher that she had been raped by her cousin the year before. The teacher referred this student to me and I followed all the procedures necessary to address this situation including calling Child Protective Services. I shared with the teacher the basic information that she needed to know. As the story unfolded all the necessary supports and legal aspects had been addressed. The incident (although actually not rape) had occurred 4 years ago and her cousin was not in her life anymore. The student needed more than school counseling and I suggested to her mom that she receive outside therapy.
Several weeks later the student went to another teacher (this time male) and reported the same information. At that time both teachers got together (in the teacher's lunchroom) and ranted how I did nothing to support this girl. Later, in the hallway with kids present, they sought out the principal to inform her that I did not handle situation properly. Fortunately, the principal was well aware of how I handled this case. She then called us all into her office to address both teachers' lack of respect towards me and especially the requirements of confidentiality.
What exactly is confidentiality? We all know the standards: "If you tell me something that is harmful to yourself or others, then by law, I am to report this." Also, there is sensitive information that is shared on a need to know basis. But in the school setting I believe we must go beyond that. Each teacher, parent, and especially students need to be mindful of the difference between GOSSIP & RIGHT TO PRIVACY. Our role as counselors is to always be aware of honoring the rights of our families. It is also our role to educate our staff and students about the importance of building trust. Without trust there is little opportunity to grow.
I will close with one more vignette. I had a group of girls, starting in kindergarten, that were a handful. These girls all had strong personalities and big needs to be accepted. There was a constant battle over who would be the leader. By 4th grade the drama was over-shadowing academics. I started a Girls Friendship Group and the need for trust building was huge. During a session one of the girls (Jenny) was furious. She said that a group member had told a girl outside of group everything that they talked about in group.
My confidentiality policy in group was that members could share what they themselves talked about in group to whomever they wanted (I encouraged them to talk to their parents) but to understand there was a risk involved and they could NOT share what others had shared.
A very upset Jenny wanted the member who had broken the trust to fess up. There was much discussion that day and in the following groups but each group member vowed it was not them. So, I did a thorough investigation to discover the main source, with hopes of using it as a learning opportunity. I even spoke to the non-group members who were pulled into the drama. With a bit of effort I discovered that the group member who had broken confidentiality was Jenny. Needless to say, after meeting with Jenny individually for a few sessions, a great lesson was learned.
These girls are now seniors in college. But let me share what one of the mothers told me about a trip these girls took together during high school. They attended a STEM's conference at UConn when a conflict arose among them. One of the girls suggested they get together like in Mrs. Aydlette's girls' group and talk it out. The parent was impressed with the skills she witnessed.
What did I wish I had known about confidentiality when I first became a school counselor?
Like termites infesting a home, the foundation is eaten away often unknown for many years. If not treated great damage is done. Likewise in a counseling program, if issues of confidentiality are not addressed the program will never be effective. Counselors, teachers, students, parents, administration, and the instructional staff all contribute in their own way to the confidentiality culture within a school. As counselors we are challenged to set the standard.
I encourage you to be a positive agent of change.
Affectionately,
Jeanette
I believe our best lessons are learned from our worst mistakes.
As counselors we are constantly put in challenging confidentiality situations. How many times are we stopped in the hallway by teachers who want to talk about a student? What about the teacher's lounge at lunch? Teachers have very little time to process their frustrations with students and parents and for them the best place and time is at lunch. Yet, during that time they maybe be venting private information with teachers who do not have a need to know. Not to mention planting the seeds of a negative reputation for the students or parents involved.
It is very awkward when counselors are pulled into these conversations. It even may be our intention to share about the students and explain background circumstances to help the teacher meet the students needs..... however this should not be done in front of a group! One of our responsibilities as a counselor is to help inform the staff about how confidentiality works.
Here is an example.
A fourth grade girl told her teacher that she had been raped by her cousin the year before. The teacher referred this student to me and I followed all the procedures necessary to address this situation including calling Child Protective Services. I shared with the teacher the basic information that she needed to know. As the story unfolded all the necessary supports and legal aspects had been addressed. The incident (although actually not rape) had occurred 4 years ago and her cousin was not in her life anymore. The student needed more than school counseling and I suggested to her mom that she receive outside therapy.
Several weeks later the student went to another teacher (this time male) and reported the same information. At that time both teachers got together (in the teacher's lunchroom) and ranted how I did nothing to support this girl. Later, in the hallway with kids present, they sought out the principal to inform her that I did not handle situation properly. Fortunately, the principal was well aware of how I handled this case. She then called us all into her office to address both teachers' lack of respect towards me and especially the requirements of confidentiality.
What exactly is confidentiality? We all know the standards: "If you tell me something that is harmful to yourself or others, then by law, I am to report this." Also, there is sensitive information that is shared on a need to know basis. But in the school setting I believe we must go beyond that. Each teacher, parent, and especially students need to be mindful of the difference between GOSSIP & RIGHT TO PRIVACY. Our role as counselors is to always be aware of honoring the rights of our families. It is also our role to educate our staff and students about the importance of building trust. Without trust there is little opportunity to grow.
I will close with one more vignette. I had a group of girls, starting in kindergarten, that were a handful. These girls all had strong personalities and big needs to be accepted. There was a constant battle over who would be the leader. By 4th grade the drama was over-shadowing academics. I started a Girls Friendship Group and the need for trust building was huge. During a session one of the girls (Jenny) was furious. She said that a group member had told a girl outside of group everything that they talked about in group.
My confidentiality policy in group was that members could share what they themselves talked about in group to whomever they wanted (I encouraged them to talk to their parents) but to understand there was a risk involved and they could NOT share what others had shared.
A very upset Jenny wanted the member who had broken the trust to fess up. There was much discussion that day and in the following groups but each group member vowed it was not them. So, I did a thorough investigation to discover the main source, with hopes of using it as a learning opportunity. I even spoke to the non-group members who were pulled into the drama. With a bit of effort I discovered that the group member who had broken confidentiality was Jenny. Needless to say, after meeting with Jenny individually for a few sessions, a great lesson was learned.
These girls are now seniors in college. But let me share what one of the mothers told me about a trip these girls took together during high school. They attended a STEM's conference at UConn when a conflict arose among them. One of the girls suggested they get together like in Mrs. Aydlette's girls' group and talk it out. The parent was impressed with the skills she witnessed.
What did I wish I had known about confidentiality when I first became a school counselor?
Like termites infesting a home, the foundation is eaten away often unknown for many years. If not treated great damage is done. Likewise in a counseling program, if issues of confidentiality are not addressed the program will never be effective. Counselors, teachers, students, parents, administration, and the instructional staff all contribute in their own way to the confidentiality culture within a school. As counselors we are challenged to set the standard.
I encourage you to be a positive agent of change.
Affectionately,
Jeanette