My Approach
A key function of the school counselors is to see students individually. There is a wide range of social, behavioral, academic, and emotional needs that may bring a student to see us.
There is not a one size fits all approach when working with a student. I used the following approach to develop an understanding of the child. Although we are professionally trained, it is my concern that we may allow our own agendas or assumptions to influence how we support a student rather than truly listening to the child. The first step in my approach is essential in order to remain focused on the student.
In addition, we can't make excuses by saying "there are too many students and not enough time". The students are our priority so it is up to us to put them at the top of our TO DO list.
There is not a one size fits all approach when working with a student. I used the following approach to develop an understanding of the child. Although we are professionally trained, it is my concern that we may allow our own agendas or assumptions to influence how we support a student rather than truly listening to the child. The first step in my approach is essential in order to remain focused on the student.
In addition, we can't make excuses by saying "there are too many students and not enough time". The students are our priority so it is up to us to put them at the top of our TO DO list.
Gathering information about the student
1. Referral system
a. Student referred by teacher/administration
b. Student referred by parent
c. Student self referred
2. Prior to seeing the student make sure to gather background information and insight about the student. Speak with the teacher to get a better understanding of the referral. In most cases call the parent and ask them to share their concerns or insight. This is especially true if I do not know the student.
Even though most school counselors know their students through lunch bunches, guidance lessons, or small groups, the information gathering cannot be overlooked. It is unfair to the student.
Taking time to gather information sends the message that you care and this is also the first step in building a relationship.
3. Here are samples of the types of question I may ask
a. Can you tell me a little about the temperament.
b. Have their been any recent changes you have observed or know about?
c. Can you tell me about the strengths of the student.
d. What kinds of progress do you hope to occur?
1. Referral system
a. Student referred by teacher/administration
b. Student referred by parent
c. Student self referred
2. Prior to seeing the student make sure to gather background information and insight about the student. Speak with the teacher to get a better understanding of the referral. In most cases call the parent and ask them to share their concerns or insight. This is especially true if I do not know the student.
Even though most school counselors know their students through lunch bunches, guidance lessons, or small groups, the information gathering cannot be overlooked. It is unfair to the student.
Taking time to gather information sends the message that you care and this is also the first step in building a relationship.
3. Here are samples of the types of question I may ask
a. Can you tell me a little about the temperament.
b. Have their been any recent changes you have observed or know about?
c. Can you tell me about the strengths of the student.
d. What kinds of progress do you hope to occur?
Gathering information from the student
The first task when meeting with the student is to talk about the reason for the referral. Share the source of the referral.
For example:
"Your teacher is concerned that _________ and thought it might be helpful if we met".
"Your mom called me and wanted me to see if you would like to talk about ______ that is happening at home". "I got your note about _________ and wanted to see you about it."
1. This session may be brief. One of my strongest beliefs as a counselor is that the student, no matter how young, has a right not work with the counselor. That doesn't mean that I won't continue to work with the teacher making the referral or the parent. Seeing a counselor is a very personal experience and I always want to honor this.
That being said, I have found that most students today will agree to work with the counselor and rarely say "no thank you."
The first task when meeting with the student is to talk about the reason for the referral. Share the source of the referral.
For example:
"Your teacher is concerned that _________ and thought it might be helpful if we met".
"Your mom called me and wanted me to see if you would like to talk about ______ that is happening at home". "I got your note about _________ and wanted to see you about it."
1. This session may be brief. One of my strongest beliefs as a counselor is that the student, no matter how young, has a right not work with the counselor. That doesn't mean that I won't continue to work with the teacher making the referral or the parent. Seeing a counselor is a very personal experience and I always want to honor this.
That being said, I have found that most students today will agree to work with the counselor and rarely say "no thank you."
2. Now is the time for us to LISTEN.
This is how we gather information about the student. However, as we know, it is difficult for some students to share their thoughts or feelings, so I have learned to listen through various methods.
Two key resources are by Violet Oaklander
Windows to Our Children: A Gestalt Therapy Approach to Children and Adolescents
Hidden Treasure: A Map to the Child's Inner Self
It is time to use our creativity and to find the best means for the child to share comfortably.
Although asking questions is a wonderful skill, paraphrasing and reflecting what they have shared at this time is often more insightful and prevents us from leading them (again careful not to have our own assumptions or agenda).
End the session by thanking the student for coming. Let them know that you will be thinking of ways to help. Tell them you might have some ideas they can pick from that will make the situation better. Tell them it is also a time for them to come up with some more thoughts about the situation.
This is how we gather information about the student. However, as we know, it is difficult for some students to share their thoughts or feelings, so I have learned to listen through various methods.
Two key resources are by Violet Oaklander
Windows to Our Children: A Gestalt Therapy Approach to Children and Adolescents
Hidden Treasure: A Map to the Child's Inner Self
It is time to use our creativity and to find the best means for the child to share comfortably.
Although asking questions is a wonderful skill, paraphrasing and reflecting what they have shared at this time is often more insightful and prevents us from leading them (again careful not to have our own assumptions or agenda).
End the session by thanking the student for coming. Let them know that you will be thinking of ways to help. Tell them you might have some ideas they can pick from that will make the situation better. Tell them it is also a time for them to come up with some more thoughts about the situation.
Follow up
3. Depending on the concern the number of individual sessions will vary, as with the time frame. During the first follow up session we begin exploring basics wants, needs, options, outcome goals, and formulate a plan. It is not necessary to share the plan with the student. A variety of strategies are used as we work together.
3. Depending on the concern the number of individual sessions will vary, as with the time frame. During the first follow up session we begin exploring basics wants, needs, options, outcome goals, and formulate a plan. It is not necessary to share the plan with the student. A variety of strategies are used as we work together.
As developmental counselors, there are some situations that we might not be able to address. This web site is not designed for those issues. The next section will deal with strategies that I have used over the years.