Third Grade Friendship Group
Having a friend becomes very important in the third grade and continues throughout the school years. Friendship groups provide a setting for students to build relationships and connect with others. It is also a time to learn new social skills and to receive feedback from peers in a controlled environment.
The friendship group levels the playing field and gives all students an opportunity to succeed in making friends. It is also very helpful for new students.
During the first guidance lesson I tell the students about the Friendship group. Those who want to be in the group send me a note (I have premade notes). Also, I get names from the teacher and parents of students who may benefit from being in the group. Although the friendship group is for either girls or boys. I run more girl's friendship groups than boy's friendship groups.
There are 8 girls per group and the groups are held during recess. The group meets for 6 sessions for 30 minutes, once a week. In most cases the girls come from the same class. Having 6 sessions per group enables me to get to more students from that grade since this is a well attended group.
Developmentally third graders are entering into a new phase. They are more aware of others around them and try to find their place socially. It is a time when teasing, put downs and friendship issues begin to occur. Often students are feeling insecure about how they fit in. It is important as a group leader to be aware of the dynamics among group members as the groups can quickly get into the conflict stage.
Session One
Session Two - Five
Session Six
The friendship group levels the playing field and gives all students an opportunity to succeed in making friends. It is also very helpful for new students.
During the first guidance lesson I tell the students about the Friendship group. Those who want to be in the group send me a note (I have premade notes). Also, I get names from the teacher and parents of students who may benefit from being in the group. Although the friendship group is for either girls or boys. I run more girl's friendship groups than boy's friendship groups.
There are 8 girls per group and the groups are held during recess. The group meets for 6 sessions for 30 minutes, once a week. In most cases the girls come from the same class. Having 6 sessions per group enables me to get to more students from that grade since this is a well attended group.
Developmentally third graders are entering into a new phase. They are more aware of others around them and try to find their place socially. It is a time when teasing, put downs and friendship issues begin to occur. Often students are feeling insecure about how they fit in. It is important as a group leader to be aware of the dynamics among group members as the groups can quickly get into the conflict stage.
Session One
- It is important to establish clear ground rules for this group for several reasons. One reason is that these groups are laying a foundation for groups in the future grades. Although group can be fun it is also a time where learning takes place. Group is not like a bunch of friends sitting together at lunch talking about their favorite color or TV show. Secondly, as mentioned above there is often a need for group members to want to establish their status in group and take control quickly for their own gains. Confidentiality, respecting others right to pass, commitment to attending group and respectful listening are covered in detail with plenty of examples. One of my main "here and now" rules is that the students do not have to raise their hands to speak, that I am not going to be calling on who speaks. This is very helpful information as the group dynamics unfold. (who speaks up, who interrupts, who never can figure out how to jump into the conversation)
- The purpose of the group is to help each member connect with others and to make some new friends. I say, "In this group you will be learning something new about yourself and about others. Each week we will be sharing 'I wonder' questions. I wonder questions are those thoughts that you might be having and you wonder if others are having the same kinds of experiences or thoughts. For example, someone might have an ,I wonder' question like this... I wonder if anyone here was worried on the first day of school? Each person will have a chance to share about this I wonder question. In the end the person asking the question will discover somethings and each of you might make a connection with someone else's answer".
- Introductions and getting to know each other. We do a go around where each member picks an animal that they are most like or would like to have those traits. For example, I say I am like a cat in some ways because I love to curl up in the sun and take a nap.
- To close out each student says whether they are committed to being in group and will honor the ground rules.
- The last challenge (if time) I ask one person to recall all the names and animals mentioned. This is just to bring up good listening.
Session Two - Five
- Quickly review the ground rules and ask if someone in the group can recall the names and animals mentioned last week. Several members like to give this a try.
- Ask if any one has an "I wonder" question. Follow this format for each question.
- Student ask the "I wonder" question but does not share the reason why or what he/she wants to say about it.
- Other students have a chance to share their thoughts on the "I wonder" question if they have a connection.
- After everyone has had a chance to share ask the person who had the "I wonder" question the following questions: "What was it like hearing what the others in the group have shared?" Share with us your reasons for having this "I wonder" question and your thoughts about." "What are some things that you've discovered today."
- About this time someone else is waiting eagerly for his/her question but always check to make sure the topic is ready to move on. Sometimes other members in the group will also want to share what they have discovered as well.
- Some "I wonder" questions are on a deeper level than others. It is always important to remind the group members about confidentiality for more sensitive topics. Also, it is a good time to share something about the trust level when someone brings up a more indepth question. For example say, " What is the group thoughts about trust based on this "I wonder" question?
- Close out with a summary type reflection from each member of the group. How is group working for you? What new friendships have developed since you've been in group? What is not working for you in group?
Session Six
- Last group processing
- Each member gives a gift of words to someone else in the group and/or to the whole group. The gift of words comes from listening and discovering about other group members. Say, "What are some hopes or wishes you would like for someone in the group based on what you've learned about them in group. For example, Mary's "I wonder" question was about her fears of falling asleep if her mom doesn't come check on her. I might say to Mary that my hope is that soon she will feel confident enough to fall asleep just knowing her mom is in the house." These gifts of words come from what they have learned about others in the group.
- Each person in group will offer their hope and wish for another member.
- Next we process what it was like hearing that special wish. Often students report that they no longer feel like they are different or weird because others are feeling like them. Also, when they receive the gift of words it feels like someone really listened and cares about them.
- If time the check out question is how might they use I wonder questions with their friends?